With the holidays upon us, many who are caring for aging family members find themselves in a tricky position. The desire to be inclusive to all family members is strong – after all, what's Thanksgiving dinner without your favorite aunt, or Christmas breakfast without your parents? But depending on the physical and mental capacities of your aging loved ones, holiday stress can be at its peak. The desire to include your family while balancing their needs and limitations can be distressing – and not only to the family members in your care.
Here are three ways that you can embrace the holidays, include those aging family members who may be suffering from physical or mental ailments, and keep the stress low for yourself.
Avoid Traveling
If at all possible, have family come to you. Try not to load and unload your aging family members in and out of cars, into different and new places, and load them up with an overwhelming number of new sights and sounds. Holiday travel is overwhelming enough for people who are healthy and have all of their mental faculties – for those with Alzheimer's, dementia, or any number of physical ailments, travel during the holidays can be immensely stressful.
Encourage relatives to celebrate the holidays with you. If you cannot personally host them, find ways that they can either stay nearby in a hotel or bed and breakfast, or perhaps with other local family members.
Fall and winter are especially tricky – we seem to have back-to-back holidays. If you are a multicultural family, it can get especially backlogged! Starting in November and going into the New Year, you may be planning celebrations for Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Chinese New Year, Solstice, and New Years Eve. Depending on how much you like to celebrate, it can be an overwhelming number of parties, festivities, and events for your aging loved one to attend.
Consider compounding a few of the big ones for your family members who are not as physically or mentally ready to celebrate the winter holidays as enthusiastically as you. If you still want to celebrate every last holiday that you can, it's fine! Just keep in mind that your elderly family members may not be up to the challenge. You may want to find an event that they can attend, such as a small get together or physical relaxation activity.
Keep Routine and Tradition Alive
With the chaos of meal planning, decorating, gift giving, and guest smooching, it can be easy to be swept up into a place where routine no longer exists. For those with memory problems or physical ailments, routine is a vital part of life. Be sure to keep all regular routines as close to normal as possible – set calendar reminders for yourself now, even if they are things you think you are unlikely to forget doing. This is especially important for the big stuff, such as medicine, physical therapy, and meals.
Likewise, just because your aging loved one is facing memory loss or a declining physical presence does not mean that tradition has to be lost. Take whatever holiday traditions are tried and true to your family – especially those that are important to your loved one – and be sure to keep them going.
Give the Gift of Memories
Our aging loved ones can be the hardest to buy gifts for – they often fall into the categories of "how do you buy for the ones who have everything." When it comes to our loved ones with dementia or Alzheimer’s, there are some especially unique and important gifts that can be given. Music as well as photography have been shown to help stir and rejuvenate memories, making them come to life stronger in the mind and even help recall some that were once lost.
Consider a photo album for your loved one, or even digitizing and restoring old home movies. You might even think about creating a
personalized scrapbook
full of memories and images of people and events that are close to your loved ones heart.
Need more information? We encourage you to
contact us
about ways to help make living with your aging loved one a simpler and more stress-free experience, especially during the holiday season.